Karma and the Art of Tactful Revenge

I read this article this morning on bikeradar.com about a girl who found her stolen bike listed on Craigslist. She ended up driving off with it during the test ride and the “seller” was later arrested. It reminded me of myself in college, in my early 20s, after I noticed my bike had gone missing during a Friday morning class. I had ridden my bike to class that a.m. and had forgotten my bike lock. I figured my bike would be fine, as class was only one hour and not many students attend class on Friday mornings, being hungover and all. I was probably hungover, but went to class anyway, because…I can’t remember, but I probably had a valid reason for attending that morning. Plus, there’s nothing quite like an early morning bike ride to cure you from the previous night’s bender. Anyway, I get out of class and my bike is missing! Defeated, I start to walk home and think to myself how pissed my Dad’s going to be that my bike is gonzo. He’s always reminding me to lock it up and the one time I don’t, it gets ripped off. I walk across the street and notice a bike leaning up against the side of a gas station. I get a little closer and the bike looks familiar. I decide to take a closer look and sure enough, it’s my bike! I peek through the window of the gas station and see two guys inside. They spot me in the window and come out. They’re wearing baggy jeans, belted mid-butt, and caps worn sideways. This could be trouble. I start walking away with my bike as they approach me. And then I let them have it; I unleash a torrent of insults their way (smiling the whole time, because this is so ironic that I can’t even believe it!) I vaguely remember telling them that if they are going to steal a bike, at least take it more than a block. Then I hopped on my faithful bike and yelled out “Jackasses!” as I rode away. I’ve never felt so empowered in my whole life.

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4 thoughts on “Karma and the Art of Tactful Revenge

  1. Nice blog! You had told me about it, so I took a peek. It made me try to think of the time I felt most empowered…I’m still thinking!

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